Day 12 Monday

I manage to sleep on and off until 7am. When I wake up to find a note on Nick’s pillow. He has gone to work to pick up his laptop so he can work from home and will be back soon. At 8am I message Jacques and ask him to see me asap. Just after 9 I phone Malik’s office and they say he is in Berwick today, a 45-minute drive away. Can I get there? Absolutely!

When we arrive he takes us in immediately. I am walking hunched over with a pillow and he agrees that spending a week in bed at my age is crippling. When I was having the infusion I was so unsteady on my feet I was only ever confident enough to go to the hospital front door on my own, as I was in room 1 that wasn’t very far. Why wasn’t there a physiotherapist or osteopath available at the hospital to treat me? Why are the nurses so overworked that they don’t have time to help patients up and take them for a walk? It’s a private hospital why wasn’t I given the help I needed?

Malik explains that I am still going through withdrawal and that it takes three weeks, and I am only one week down. He gives me Tramadol slow-release and Tramadol normal, anti-inflammatory and Panadeine Forte to manage the pain. He says that I need to continue with the osteo and continue walking in water. He walks me to the door and then he asks me if I need to see a psychologist. I shoot him a deadly look and answer with a firm, no!

I get home and sleep for an hour and then go and see Jacques and he works his magic on my back. The ghastly pain has settled to a 4 ½, I need to be at a 4 to cope. I wake up at 5ish and take two Panadeine Forte. I go to the local pool and this time I walk up to my neck and I find that using a noodle for support helps to take the pressure off. I come home and try to tidy up a bit, I still haven’t finished unpacking. This isn’t like me in the past I would have pushed through and put everything away.

I watch the news, and have a little dinner. My pain is ok but I am still not me. I am not high but I am slow, my actions and reflexes are slow. I couldn’t do anything as complex as driving. Cars coming at me at an intersection would be too much to manage; I am surprised that I am allowed to drive. I write this up and see if I can concentrate enough to watch TV and relax with a little sleep – a good night’s sleep would be amazing, it’s been a long time. I take an anti-inflammatory.