Day 17 – Saturday

I have decided to stop taking both the Tramadol SR and the short-acting. I have restless legs but I use all my will power and refuse to move them. I take two Panadeine Forte to cope and go to an appointment with Jacques, he says he isn’t fond of the new, mellow Karen and wouldn’t it be dreadful if I stayed like this as the real Karen is more fun. I replied that Nick felt the same way and told me off the other day as I was enquiring as to how he was doing. He said this was very strange and being so nice didn’t suit me!

We walked 25 minutes to the shopping centre and I got very tired. As it was raining we caught the tram home but I had still managed to walk four kilometers for the day. We watched a movie. I can definitely feel my mind clearing. I’m still taking Panadeine Forte as the aching legs are such a drag. It would be better if the weather wasn’t so miserable as lying around makes it harder to ignore them.

I’m still talking slower than normal but I can speed it up to appear more normal when I am talking to people who don’t know about my hospital stay. I don’t think the Panadeine Forte is helping with my restless legs so I’m not going to take it anymore. By 10pm I am seriously struggling. My legs are aching (pills don’t work) and I am finding it mentally difficult to continue fighting. However, I have no choice. I will go to sleep so my bodily discomfort disappears.

This treatment is not for the light-hearted, it really sucks and at this stage I really feel that I lack medical support. I am on my own and I have to manage from within. Tomorrow will be a new, better day.